It’s a Friday night. About 10:00 pm.
P’s in the front room. Reading Deem or Kinfolk or Dwell. Pizza is mostly gone. Same for the wedges of fried cheese. I’m in the other room on the couch near the TV.
“K- what are you doing?” P asked.
“Just reading.” This is a lie because I’m scrolling P’s Netflix profile.
“Okay.”
I scroll through the indie flicks. Past the section of British period dramas. Clear the documentaries and stuff about Scandinavian design. Past that show Abstract and some rows of sh*t about the Royal Family. Finally arrive at the ‘watch it again’ section and find me a good one.
I turn the volume low to keep P at bay. Then press play.
A few minutes pass.
“K- what are you up to?”
“Nothing. Still reading.”
“Oh. Thought I heard some noise.”
“Nope. Might have been the neighbors.”
I hit the down arrow on the volume. Glanced out the window. Quiet. Dark. Though I could see a faint snow falling. Nobody had been outside in hours.
I sank deeper into the corner of the couch. Watched on the Netflix as Jason Momoa looked all heroic in the snow while trying to save his father and daughter and battling a gang of vile drug traffickers who controlled the turf around his logging company and wanted him dead.
I smiled at the perfection of my Friday night.
Then P appeared. Over my right shoulder. She eyed the TV. A cabin exploded.
“K…. Thought you were reading?”
I looked around. Not a book in sight.
“Well…. I was. But I got tired. So I turned on my stories.”
“Annnnnd what story is this.”
“This? Well, this… This is a good one. A real good one.”
“Hmmmm.”
“It’s got the the big, beautiful man from Game of Thrones. Except he’s a logger now and lives somewhere north and cold…. Like Maine….. or Canada…. And his dad has amnesia and they’re trying to spend a quiet weekend together.
But his buddy makes a deal with some nasty drug dealers. And this is where it gets real good.
The deal goes sideways. So Jason has to fight the bad guys and save his dad and save his daughter. It’s really good so far.
I think you’d like it.”
(Silence)
“Did I mention Jason is married to Lisa Bonet?”
(sigh)
“K! You’re always doing this,” P said.
“Doing what?” I asked.
“Spoiling our Netflix profile. And I had it curated just right. I can’t even handle you.” P swirled a little red inside her big wine glass. Continued.
“Art. Design. The royal family. Stories from Scandinavia. It was an…. an inspiration. And now….. now it’s this?”
She pointed at the TV. Some sh*t blew up.
“Well, I’d like to think we can become more than just what the Netflix algorithm wants us to be,” I piped up.
(Scowl)
“Just sayin. I don’t want to live my life defined by what the Netflix tells me to watch.”
(Eye roll)
“K- How many times have you watched National Treasure this month?” P asked.
“Only once.”
“And the Bournes?”
“Just the first three…. but those were on Prime….. so they don’t count.”
“And what’s the name of this one?”
I sat up on the couch. Propped my back into the corner. Held my chin high.
“This…….is Braven. And Braven is wonderful.”
“You need your own f*****g algorithm,” P said. “And you’re sitting in my d**n spot.”
Friends- ‘Kelly’s Bad Movies’ made its appearance on the Netflix account the next day. This month I’ve seen Den of Thieves, Passenger 57, and Extraction. Plus, P seems happy.
We love you.
And we’ll see you when we see you.
Netflix & Chill is Full of Sh*t