A String Cheese Incident
A simple task. Led to a disappointed wife. When it comes to natural cheeses, string beats the stick every time.
Came home from grocery the other day. Had a swagger about me. Bounce in my step.
Normally, P and I buy our sticks of cheese in packs of 12. But I’d gone bigger this time. And felt good about it.
I placed the pack of 24 sticks in the refrigerator. And went about things.
P came down the stairs a few minutes later. Went hunting for a snack.
“Oooh. I’ll have a cheesy,” she said and opened a fresh stick of natural cheese.
She fumbled for a second, trying to pull a stringy strand from the pepperjack stick. Instead of a cheese string, a chunk gave way. P looked at it. Looked at me. Tried again.
No string. Just another chunk of cheese.
She tried again. Then set the stick down. I fidgeted in my seat. Got a little nervous. Something was off with my purchase.
“K- what’s wrong with the string cheese?” P asked.
“It’s pepperjack,” I said and cocked an eyebrow. “Thought I’d spice it up for us this week.”
“But it’s not stringy,” P replied.
“No. Come on. Of course it’s stringy,” I said.
“It just falls off in chunks. No strings. See.” P tried and failed again to peel off a long string.
“That can’t be right,” I said. “You just don’t know how to do it.”
“K- I know how to eat a f*****g string cheese.”
“Do you?”
P snarled.
I went to the fridge. Opened it up. Grabbed my own stick and unwrapped it.
“Here,” I started. “Watch.”
I started the pulling process. Failed. Just ended up digging my nail into the top. A bit fell off the side. A little lodged under my fingernail.
I looked over at P. She looked at me.
“Well?” P asked.
I went back to the fridge. Inspected the package. Felt my stomach drop. I’d purchased 24 cheese sticks. Not 24 sticks of string cheese. I had failed.
I showed the package to P.
“You’re better than that, K,” P said. A grin across her face.
“I thought I was,” I sighed. “I really thought I was.”
Friends- Snow is falling. Winter is coming. And when it comes to the fight between processed sticks of natural cheese, I’ll choose string every time.
We love you.
And we’ll see you when we see you.